I Don’t Know What I Don’t Know

One of my favorite questions to ask when I’m interviewing someone is:

“What should I have asked that I didn’t?”

I’ve learned it may be the most important question in learning. It’s how I discover something I never even considered.

I don’t know what I don’t know.

At Mass this past weekend, a phrase from the Collect caught me: that we might attain God’s promises, “which surpass every human desire.” I stared at those words in the missal long after Father read them.

I spend a lot of time telling God what I desire. I pray for people I love. I ask for direction, clarity, solutions and the outcomes I hope for. And there is nothing wrong with asking. Jesus tells us to ask.

But how often are my prayers limited by me? By what I know. By what I can see. By what I can imagine as a good outcome.

And my imagination is pretty small compared with God’s.

Maybe there are graces I don’t ask for because I don’t know I need them. Maybe there are ways God wants to use me that I haven’t imagined. Maybe what I think is the answer isn’t the answer at all.

I don’t know what I don’t know.

And suddenly, I find that incredibly freeing. Because God knows.

So I’ve been thinking about taking my favorite interview question into prayer:

Lord, what should I have asked You that I didn’t?

What do You desire for me that I don’t yet know how to desire for myself?

I’ll still bring God the hopes, worries and very specific requests of my heart. But perhaps I can leave more room for Him to answer the questions I haven’t thought to ask.

After all, His promises surpass every human desire. Even mine.