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July 25, 2025Listening to a homily last weekend, my thoughts swirled – initially in full agreement with what Father was saying. Then “yes, but” popped into my head. When I heard those words in my own voice in my thoughts, I struggled to focus on the rest of the homily.
I know I am not alone in the “yes, but…” struggle. It is the battle of every heart trying to hold onto the world and to be faithful to the cross. Too often, I’ve found myself trying to love with conditions:
“Yes, I will forgive… but only when they apologize first.”
“Yes, I will serve… but only when I feel appreciated.”
We hear it in conversations, possibly even slip it into prayers.
“Yes, I know I should forgive… but they hurt me too deeply.”
“Yes, I want to follow Jesus… but not if it means giving that up.”
“Yes, but…” Two small words that reveal a divided heart.
In the Gospels, Jesus gives us a clear and non-negotiable command:
“Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34)
A love without hesitation. Without conditions. Without “but.”
The “but” exposes our fears and our attachments. It delays our obedience. It curbs our surrender. It keeps one foot on the shore when Jesus is calling us to walk on water.
When we say “yes, but…,” we reveal the boundaries we’ve placed around our hearts. We’re saying, “I want to love… but not like that.”
When Jesus washed the feet of His disciples, He also washed the feet of Judas. Sit processing that for a moment.
When He died on the cross, it was for all. His love didn’t come with fine print. No “but.” Just “yes,” all the way to the cross.
To love as Jesus loves means showing kindness even when it’s not returned. It means forgiving again, and again. And again. It means choosing patience over judgment, presence over convenience, sacrifice over comfort.
Jesus doesn’t want a love tangled up in excuses. He wants a “yes” that chooses mercy over resentment, trust over fear, humility over control.
Let us ask ourselves: Where in my life am I loving with a “yes, but…”? Where am I offering Jesus a “yes, but…”? How can I turn that into a full-hearted yes with no strings attached?
Let’s ask Him for the grace to surrender that “but” and say “yes” without conditions. A “yes” that loves completely. A “yes” that loves always.